Recently I've observed something interesting and it has been bopping around the blog section of my brain as something that might make a good blog post.
Unfortunately, I don't really have a long, detailed discussion of it that could turn into a great essay-like blog post. But rather it is just a concise observation with a few related thoughts thrown in.
I do not have any children so therefore I get to sit back and observe others who do. AND I get to judge them and their parenting skills. After all, they are raising the future adults that will possibly share my community or otherwise influence my life and/or future. So even though we are told repeatedly not to judge people, I choose to go against the grain and I do place judgment upon parents.
Thanks to Facebook, I now get tiny little glimpses into the lives of those who dare to be on my friends list. With their status updates and comments to others, I now get a near constant newsreel of the goings on of people whom before Facebook I would have no clue about.
So, getting back to what I originally started this post about... recently I've noticed something....
There is a direct correlation among parents, particularly mothers, of those who complain about their kids and those who do not and their religious practices and political leanings.
Overwhelmingly, those who complain about their kids and question whether they should have even had children, do not appear to have much of a relationship with Christ and are decidedly liberal in their political views. On the flip side, of my friends who identify as conservative and belong (and regularly attend!) a church, I never see them complain about their kids or their job as a parent.
The conservatives praise and support their kids, almost to the point of gushing. But the general feeling I get from them is that they enjoy parenting, get much satisfaction from it, and overall feel blessed to have their children in their lives.
The liberals on the other hand, complain so much about their kids that I am often left with the thought "why did they even have kids if they are so awful?" Some of them even post that if they had to do it over again, they either would not have had kids or would have had fewer.
Good grief. They post that on the internet! And it's not just a single post after a particularly bad day. We all have those. No, this is a regular theme with them. I see very little praise of their kids but much bitching and complaining.
Hmmmmm since anything you put on the Internet is pretty much permanent, I can only hope that their kids don't someday come across these posts from their mother. Can you imagine the emotional damage that could do?
For myself, I have felt my entire life that my mother never approved of me and nothing that I did was ever good enough. That alone has caused me a lot of heartache over the years. But I never for a moment ever doubted that she wanted me or felt that she regretted having me. Good Lord, the complete emotional cripple I would surely be had I ever some across something she had written whereby she complained frequently about me and being my mother.
Now none of this is meant as a blanket statement. I can think of several people right now who do not fit into this mold... but I can also think of quite a few who fit right into this....
So I leave you with this.... If you have kids, ENJOY them and support them. Their little egos are fragile and you are helping to develop the person they will be more than you think. And if you don't have kids but think you may in the future, PLEASE give it some thought first and be sure that you will be a supportive, nurturing parent and not one who acts like they resent their kids' existence. Those of us who cannot have children are relying on you to produce emotionally healthy people that we may someday share a community with.
~kate
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